Archive for September 4, 2008

Akinai’s Kyrgyz Grandmother “We Have Many Trials…”

Till ninth grade in the school my grandmother put up with all cruelty from her stepmother, but then she decided to go to the capital city of Kyrgyzstan, Frunze, but now is Bishkek. In Bishkek nobody waited for her, but she put purpose that she will reach everything that she wants in order to be happy. She went to Bishkek, there for the first time she lived with her aunt, who was not any better than her stepmother. Her aunt was cruel and she also made my grandmother do everything in her house, and however her aunt did not know about cooking, housekeeping anything, she always seized on my grandmother. Her aunt was kind a “white handed woman”, that did not do anything at home, she just could talk a lot, and tell everybody how she is clever and beautiful. She always told my grandmother: “You are stupid girl, who came from the village to conquer the city, you can’t do that, I can’t understand you, how can you go to the institute? For what? To dishonor me in the face of my friends? They will say what a stupid niece I have. Please do not go there, just sit at home and do housework, and say to me thanks that I gave you a shelter!”

In spite of that my grandmother did not listen to her mad aunt, she went to institute and also she worked. And all salary that she earned her aunt took from her, she gave her only 20 kopeck in a day, that was not enough for my grandmother, and often my grandmother was hungry at lunch time.

Since my grandmother is hard working also good person with a kind heart she began to grow up [be promoted] in her post at the job. Then at her work she met my grandfather, who was attractive and handsome guy.  They started to date and then they got married. Everything would be ok, except their living place, during that time was so bad houses; firstly they lived in communal flat, which is not superb place for living.

Eventually was born their first daughter, so that they were young, the flat was not so good, and they both worked, my grandparents’ daughter was taken away by my grandfathers’ parents in the village, and she grew up there. Then after year from the birth of my aunt, was born my mother. It was difficult times for my grandparents, because of living place, they moved from one place to another. In that time they could not just to take and simply buy a flat, like now. In that time were queues to get a flat, even if you had money you could not buy.

Since my grandfather was a man, it did not disturb him that they did not have permanent flat, it was ok to him just to come home after work to eat and to sleep. It disturbed only my grandmother, she ran after people who decided to give flats to people. She talked with them in order to have a flat, sometimes she curse with them, and then only when some time passed, she get her own  flat!!!!

After my grandmother gave a birth to my uncle, it was happy times to grandparents. But then there were some problems- my grandparents did not understand each other and could not live with each other anymore. Like her first baby my uncle was taken by force away to the village by my great grandparents, and my grandmother could not do anything to stop them.

She missed both her children a lot and often went to the village in order to see them , she always supported them with everything what they wanted, but what she wanted she couldn’t do , she couldn’t take her children with herself to Bishkek, and live together, because great grandparents did not give permission.

Time passed, my grandmother was a workaholic, she did not think may be about her private life, however she had a lot of admirers, she did not want to suffer again and did not trust to men. She lived for the sake of her children; she did everything for the sake of their happiness. Sooner my grandmother got married for the second time and gave a birth to my aunt and uncle. Also sooner when the time was to enter university for my aunt, for the first baby of my grandmother, she came to Bishkek, and my grandmother did her best to give the best education to her daughter. My grandmother felt herself guilty in front of her daughter, so she was too kind to her. Also then my uncle was sent back to my grandmother, also in order to have an education. But what is the most sad that these two children my aunt and uncle, they are too cold with my grandmother till this day, because they grew up with great grandparents who always told bad things to children about my grandmother. And nowadays, my grandmother who gave everything to them like education, houses, they are cold with her and their relationship is not so good like with other children.

My grandmother in spite of all difficulties in her life reached all aims that she set in front of herself and now is happy with her big family. We, her grandchildren, try to be often near her, we try to support her always. We are her gladness and belief in the best things. She is an example for me, and I will try to live like she lives, not to give up in the difficult moment, on the contrary survive and be better. Because like she says: “We have many trials, that are given to us by God, but there aren’t such trials, which we can not pass, it is like testing are you strong and purposeful person, or just lazy and if you do not need that, nobody needs.”

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